No Name Applicable

Friday, July 27, 2007

Thank God for the Wisdom . . .

. . . to stop myself from sending those smses to retaliate on impulse, though i was very hurt by those words at that time.

cos all i thought was i haven met her for a long time, and i have just gotten my pay, i really don't mind treating her supper cos she muz be financially tight since haven got a job.

when her reply sounds quite relax, i didn't thought much of it, but replied and ask so as to clarify what her last message was actually about.

sometimes when people live directly opposite a damn huge lake and grasslands nearby, and in Singapore, and when its the season for Dengue, you need not have fever to scare the shit outta yourself that you have dengue. a mosquito bite accompanied by red spots would be sufficient. and besides, the weather suddenly turn cool, so many people got flu. so it makes things more difficult to understand sometimes.

therefore when i got the reply that sounded relac, of cos i didnt thought much.

Me: where u? wan meet me a while?
Reply: i m home trying very hard to figure out if i am having dengue
Me: har? that means you are having fever now and cannot come out?

kcuf. i forgot to keypad lock my phone, the message got deleted.

anyway, the reply says something like:

wtf kinda question you asking. if you need someone at the moment sry i cant be there; in fact i think i would need someone more urgently if this kcuf-ing fever don't go down.

i was standing at bugis village bus stop, thinking how should be the fastest way to get down to meet her, how would be the best way to not spend too much moola for us both, if she haven have enough how much can i pay for her.

the first reaction i have when i got the message, i cry.

when i recover from the shock, i got angry.

the first reply that came to my mind was:

perra, htf do i noe wtf is exactly wrong when you sound like you are fine, i just want to clarify that i did not interpreted the sms wrongly. i don't kcufing need your sympathy for kcuf's sake, if you had been nice to me so far cos you are merciful and not cos you cherish me as a friend, i rather be alone. and btw, i am not a unwanted puppy at SPCA. kcuf.

i typed and deleted the message twice. cos now that i noe she's sick, i m in a dilemma as to be angry or wad. but i m very hurt, with my style i can never take this lying down.

and all these happen when i had a slight arguement with amos and problems at work.

i couldn't bear taking bus 12 for 1 hour plus to get home with all that grievance in me. wanted to get a cab but can't flag any. good that i called one and nearly immediately got one.

even better, my phone battery flat so i can't call her back and F her upside down, giving her a piece of my mind. oh btw, in the first place its cos my phone low batt hence the sms-convo hence the misunderstanding cos i can't hear how ~~sick~~ she sounded.

i got up the cab, thought for a while. the air con cooled me down. i snatched the phone from the cab driver and called her. k not exactly snatched. i is no robber.

i asked the uncle if he can lend me his phone to make a call cos mine is low batt. then he was pretty reluctant. but already taking out, just that still trying to make me understand that he has a earphone joint to the phone, so its very troublesome to lend me the phone.

kcuf, scrooge.

i say: sorry uncle, don't worry i will put back for you
while my hands already stretch over and pluck the phone out.

the uncle was quite grouchy for the rest of the journey though the phone call was only 2 minutes.

i called her and ask her whats up. she told me why she's so flared up cos everyone has been OVERLY CONCERNED and had been telling her:

are u dengue? i m worried. for goodness sake go do a blood test.

like as if she does not already register that statement in her mind. she just needs to know if she is with that scary epidemic. though these people are concerned no doubt, but their statements are totally inconstructive and retarded.

i told her i m on my way back to east side, i can bring her to the 24 hour ah neh clinic (btw, the doctor looks like Suren, he offers many days of MC the last time jacq went to him LOL)

i can hear how frighten she is then. literally shaky voice.

i just cant be angry anymore but get worried cos she's usually ultimate garang-ness.

if i was the one in the case of worrying and suspecting if i m having dengue, i would be pestering her and whining, then she'll be tempted to slap and she will say:

you think i look like doctor isit. you sit here and whine will get well isit. go see doctor la!

when she slightly calmed down later on, through her groggyness she still remember that she was nasty to me LOL.

she blogged:
OKAYS! after i typed so much.. joycie just told me halley kena twice [i thought i told you he got it thrice?] so i asked him abt it. now i'm feeling better! though i still dunno if it is dengue. roar!
i ask many qns n he tried to ans until he said.. "hard to say de leh " "dengue got 4 kinds lehz"

roar!

aiya. i should be ok la.. still can be high n crap around. mood still swing like fuck. just like the normal pms me ma.

sorry to those that i responsed quite harshly. =/

joyce, i really appreciate that u wanna accompany me to the clinic. u are the ONLY person who offer me that. LOL. but when u ask, i am already too paranoid n tired that i dun wanna care. and sorry cos i sounded quite bad.

thanks halley! for all ur information and wanting to try find the time if i need to see a chinese doc!

i'm off to rest now! x) going for blood test tml! i have no idea why am i so fucking excited! LOL.
once again, thanks joyce! thanks halley! thanks all for ur concern!

what i want to say is, thank god for blessing me with the wisdom to forgive and stop and think for others before my own ego.

if not i would have lost a friend that i love a lot a lot today.

seriously, a lot of times if she drives me nuts as much as my silly antics drive her nuts sometimes. with my usual temperament in life, i will never let anyone have a second try at me, i will definitely kcuf that person upside down and ignore for life.

but i really thank god to let me have the wisdom to love to cherish.

very blessed.

amos say i m a better person from 6 years ago, compared to the little girl who dunno how is busy protecting herself and hiding from people. i think my cookie really changed me a lot a lot, in terms of good and bad influences. ting and momo too..

now, i want to stretch my luck a bit. i hope i will be blessed with this wisdom to be a better person to love all the other very very important people in my life, as well as my work.
Labels: My Enlightenment, My Khaki

Kicking about @ 3:28 AM
| Post Url | |

Thursday, July 26, 2007

62%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Labels: My Entertainment

Kicking about @ 12:44 AM
| Post Url | |

Sunday, July 22, 2007

同性结婚，可以吗?

saw yiting's bulletin to ask for comments at Shoot 3 有话就说3 forum; this is my reply there...

why not?

the basis of a bond in marriage is that one will stay with
thy spouse through good times and bad times, through health and through
sickness, through wealth and troubled times.

as long as they abide by
these vows, and truly love each other, why must force them to go through a
marriage with a socially acceptable partner whom they don't love?

i
think it is more cruel to make them live with someone they don't love, and cruel
to make their unloved spouse live with them, then to not have children.

and most of all, if they ever have children with their unloved spouse,
wouldnt it be cruel to have the child at all? to be a child in a home with no
love, how should the child brought up to know how to love, how to have faith in
marriage?

wouldnt that ultimately still lead us to low marriage, low
birth rates, high divorce rates, high social problems due to broken families?

and most of all, there's probably just 1 outta 30 person that you find
gay, you still have 29 others who are not. be it if gay marriage are allowed or
not, the birth rate thingy is a social problem due to the standard of living.
for goodness sake stop heaping this reason on the gay community.

as
maslow's hierarchy has it, its a basic need for a human to seek peer acceptance.
the prescence of gay club shows how lonely this community is, and how outcasted
they are to have to set up their own little communities to support each other.

personally, i have never had the tendency of being attracted to people
of my same gender, hence i don't know how gay people feel or think. but i
believe, as long as they abide by their vow to each other, to love through good
times and bad times, they should be given the support. afterall, the socially
acceptable marriage don't always end up good; look at the divorce rates.

sharing something i heard in a speech from a wedding yesterday,

the only love you get to keep is the love you give away.

Labels: My Logic

Kicking about @ 5:09 PM
| Post Url | |

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

To Mystic Vulcan

i dunno why cant post at your blog leh. so i post here la. ^^
btw, i tagged u for a meme, scroll down ya.. one of the posts below this one ^^

in your post about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs . . .

you mentioned bout the education streams variation affecting the relationships, that falls under the 3 level of the hierarchy. the people seek belongingness and social acceptance. hence when the pretty gal dun even bother to give higher education guys a chance, cos she find that it would be a socially unacceptable behavior, and will not be able to seek belongingness with his and her peers.

kon aspire to climb the corp ladder, ignoring his peers and his subordinates and just keep climbing up to satisfy the forth level of the hierarchy of needs, but eventually he will come to realise that cos his third level of needs is not satisfied, he will fall back again and be unsatisfied. i.e. got job got money, but no fren no honey..

as for the excretion, it is the basic level of the hierarchy of needs. hence we might be able to hold it in and complete the game, but cos the sensation is bugging us, we would not be able to enjoy and perform well in the game as per usual when we are not "urgent"

therefore, variation in of choices in the same level of needs will be dependent on personal priority (eg romeo and juliet); though one may prioritize to jump the level, but ultimately will not succeed or rather sustain for long (eg Kon)

^^ heh heh, i long time no freq your blog, one time comment length worth one year!
Labels: My Logic

Kicking about @ 12:35 AM
| Post Url | |

Monday, July 09, 2007

Life is Weird

Shawn says:

If life don't sucks, we would have fallen off earth.

LOL.

Me and Dino says:

Life is a vacuum cleaner, it sucks.

------------------------------------------

yea, life is full of ups and downs. just when you think you are up, you might be down deep under. just when you thought you flew to heaven, you are six feet underneath too x) k rubbish.

anyways, i got a good news at work and a bad news at work on the same day LOL.

my probation is over, i is confirmed, i get increment, i get namecard.

on the same day, i found out about a mistake i made 2 months back. the mistake cost my boss two thousand bucks.

-----------------------------------------

i bought mahjong thinking i will be playing with this person, this person and that person. but end up hor, i played with all the people in the world that i would not have imagined but not them leh. YITING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! MAG~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
instead i played with Sean. damn, his mama better not know about this. seems i have been guiding him all the weird things since sec sch =_= copy homework, jaboh extra lesson go play badminton before O Level, teach him play pool at Grandlink, and now.. Mahjong =_=

damn last min ytd. afterwork met up with amos to go supper. 11pm sean replied amos's miss call which was made at 4pm. so we roped him in for supper too. while waiting for sean, jeremy smsed amos: any plans for supper tonight?

the world of warcraft bunch of guys always go supper on friday nights.

so we got jeremy in as well.

after supper at C.Nai Cafe at upp east coast road, jeremy and i were thinking we wanna chill out a while more before heading home. afterall, TGIF!

amos was trying to get us off the idea by saying there's no place no money no whatever. then i suggested mahjong. hehe~! jeremy is on for it! was actually thinking bout abducting jiazhao with us, but managed to persuade sean to play hahaha.

i 1 player win 2 player. amos start with $11.80, end with $11.80. LOL.

amos pissed me off by saying i cant make big sets of tiles, right after that i win a qing yi se + cat + flower + hua shang = man tai. and the boys was challenging my maths -_- 10cent 20cent man tai is $1.60 $3.20 la~! remember this man. -_-

-----------------------------------------
its 2pm, i am eating corn flake in the office, and typing this post, and replying Ting's tag -_-

Rules of the game:

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts, as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs!

i think fresh coconut smells like amos.
i slp face down. my right hand always grabs a bunch of my blanket before i fall aslp.
its the first time i ever do a meme aka tag like this.
my name should be: Joyce Vera Tan
i aspire to be a house~~fly~~wife.
i often faint when i was in primary and secondary school. lesser as years goes by, but once a while i still do.
i dun hate my discipline mistress ms abraham.
i love my sec 4 classroom. or rather, i always likes the serenity and security in schools..
i enjoy the bliss to roll round amos's bed when he's playing warcraft; and look at the traffic at the junction and the mrt track and the clear view of sky and singapore expo.
both me and amos didnt start this relationship becos we are head over heels with each other. only after being together for some time that we become more n more head over heels with each other x)
Tag:
Xiao Rix'zi
Mystic Vulcan
Mag
Stephy
Ann
Lawrence
-----------------------------------------

last but not the least weird fact of life, i started this post on 30th June 2pm, i only completed yiting's tag and this part on 9th July at 1am.

-----------------------------------------

Life's good! Celebrate being Able to Breathe, Celebrate being Able to Work, Celebrate being Able to do a Happy Job I Love by Choice!

Cheers to Monday, to the New Week and OH YA!

Cheers to the Newly Wedd, Gary ~~Wu Wei Xiong aka Koala~~ & Wui Ting!
Labels: My Random-ness

Kicking about @ 3:12 AM
| Post Url | |

Moon River

i dunno why.. but the tune of this song keep getting stuck on my tongue, and plays in my mind..

and finally i know how to use imeem ^^

~~in case some rats with not very good eyesight find the music irritating, the player is on my photo at the top of this page =]~~ i managed to hide the player from blocking my pretty pic HAHA bhb me, i noe~ its OkiE~ [22nd july]

if someone knows how to hide this player behind my photo, please tell me.. much appreciated. cos at the moment, i can't find a nice spot to put this player ^^
Labels: My Entertainment, My Question, My Random-ness

Kicking about @ 12:51 AM
| Post Url | |

Saturday, July 07, 2007

O.o

my bro rented the vcd of korean movie: everybody has secrets

i tried to watch, but apparently the vcd is too thick and will keep getting paused or checkered, or stop altogether. the rental shop is such a tard... the barcode sticker for security purpose is stucked onto the first vcd's printed surface, and the stick is so thick.

end up, i finished watch the entire movie in youtube, minus the 6 mins i barely can make out of the low quality off screen effect the vcd has shown over the player or on the laptop.

today i met a lady who had came all the way down to meet me cos she is interested in animation. end up, she didnt take animation, but is considering taking photography.

i was really really touched that she likes rueyloon's work soOOOOOOOoo much, that she can identify rueyloon's work when i shown it to her.

well, somehow fate must have twisted one way or another, cos she sieved through nearly all the elite photographers and saw rueyloon's work and really like it, but somehow we never met her or hear from her before. nope, not that she is price sensitive. cos she is definitely one who would spend more if the quality is there. that's why i say.. somehow fate must have twisted somewhere.

and today becos of animation, she got to see more of rueyloon's works and rates.

and whats more, while discussing more details about her wedding, we discovered that the wedding that she is attending tomorrow and we are covering tomorrow, is the same one!

Singapore is just that small. earlier this week, i met another couple. they made an appointment with us early last week to view more of our works. last friday, they went to a wedding and found out from their friend that we will be covering her wedding in september for photography. and so happen, that wedding that they were all attending, the videography coverage is by us too!

should i say singapore is small or should i say our reach is wide? =P

i prefer the first opt, but wish for the latter ^^

sometimes, what's interesting in life is the unexpected
Quoted from Movie - Everybody Has Secrets
Labels: My Random-ness

Kicking about @ 1:26 AM
| Post Url | |

Monday, July 02, 2007

As of July 1st . . .

. . . if there is the necessity to have vulgarity as the best words to express the situation, it would be either in Espaniol or ****

cos . . .

i is Officially Full Time Staff representing my company(s) as of now.

therefore, i must present myself properly.

ah sheesh. that's hard to do in here, ain't it?

cos there's a place for everything, and i am used to ranting in my nonameapplicable.blogspot.com

i guess those really violent stuff just gotta shift to perra-side-me.livejournal.com for the time being. if there are any violent objections like the last time when i shift my blog, i guess i will just hafta open a blank blog with nonameapplicable.blogspot.com which will redirect my readers who are used to my violent online persona's nature, to the not so civilize bloggy which will contact archives of the past and future of NoNameApplicable.

btw, perra-side-me means: b**** side of me. perra in espaniol = the female counterparts of human's loyal friend.

but that's troublesome =/

we'll see. for now i will just push down the posts, remove the archive function, and do the rest when i got time.

BUT.

THE MAIN POINT IS:

I am confirmed for my Job.

Additions from the confirmation: - proper name card, sorta pay rise.

additions are secondary. the main point is:

I AM CONFIRMED FOR A JOB I LOVE~!!!

cool rite!

over the last few weeks, i was pretty touched by a few couples.. hearing how they initially called me with uncertain tones, met me with confused and worried faces, and left our studio with a big smile and share with me things that is beyond a client and a sales coordinator, i felt.. happy..

especially a bride who's wedding was on Saturday, till friday things are still somewhat going a haywire here and there, and she met a very irresponsible vendor who landed her in a mess which leads her to us. i was heartache when i see her helplessly trying to put things right as much as she can; i was happy when i see her release her knitted brows and chat with me little details of her wedding preparations that she's happy about.. though i didnt get to know her contact for future keeping in touch purpose, but i felt like i got a new friend, cos she opened up to me =)

my boss asked me if i m unhappy with anything in my job. pay, condition, job scope etc. he ask if i got enough money to use with the current pay. haha. its great that there's a rise, cos i need it after all. today is 2nd July, i only have half my pay in my bank, the rest went to personal + household utilities. and this month, someone's getting married, the hongkong trip is next month, therefore i gotta scrimp really properly this month.

last month, my bro ask me if there's anything that i want to own if i have the financial strength now. i can't think of any.

rueyloon hit the spot right. i only ask to be happy in what i am doing. i guess that's the ultimate importance ain't it?

haven't i seen enough people who had earn loads, but is unhappy?

someone who earn loads and have a great girl by his side but don't appreciate? but keep coming after someone that he can never be together with, just becos his ego refuse to admit that he couldnt get this girl years back when he was so near yet so far.

someone who got the fame but lost the love of his life and ultimately his fame?

someone who got the money, the fame and the respect of people; but missed out the precious years when she is still able to hug her son in her arms?

i only ask to be happy in what i m doing i guess. albeit my reasoning in which ever job i go is to set my mind that i can find happiness in what i m doing. no point finding fault with what i have when i can't change it, only makes myself miserable what.

just that, this job, is a blessing. cos the bonus that comes with it, are the smiles on the confused and uncertain faces of inexperienced people trying to get the best vendors to assist them in creating the big day in their life, and preserving it for as long as it could possibly be.

seriously, imagine the helplessness of these people who has no past experience in getting married, getting vendors for their wedding day; nearly every decision they make are big gambles. is either the vendor make their big day a great day or break their big day into a nightmare.

hence the smile you see on them when they are finally relieved off each big decision on which vendors to take, its really like they shifted their anxiety to you, trusting that you have the passion to make their Celebration of Passion the best it could ever be. its really sincere.

very happy job x)

plus, on the wedding day, when i get to see their video or photographs, i just can't feel sad, can i? unless the groom in the pic is amos and the bride is not me la. =x
the other day, sam completed an express highlight for a couple, i was watching it with him as he do the final check.

Sam ask: eh what do you think bout this Express Highlight i just did?
Me say: its fantastic! i laughed and cry along with it!
Sam says: wow. new way to express how good is my work eh!

In Conclusion:

i am really happy and blessed to get this job in the first place, all thanks to Lawrence and Friendster for linking Lawrence to me, of all people in Singapore.

then i am really blessed to have really forgiving bosses who take the pain to mould me from nothing to a little bit of thing for this job.

an finally, i am really really blessed to be given the chance to experience all these happiness for a long time more to come!

rueyloon says:
perks of the confirmation is that you get a namecard of your own, pay increment and paid annual leave and medical leave!

i like the name card part =D cos i dun really understand the works of leaves, amos made it sound really complicated for his =/ whatever, they will explain to me later ons when i need leaves =p

oh ya. my big cat ORD on 11th July 2007. that's fast. so outta the blue, 2 years liao. he gained responsibility, some skills and some good brothers that he can hold for life; i gained some good friends from his department too!

eh. wa.. i only meant to do a small notice that this blog would be more civilize as of 1st july, but it became such a long headless tail-less entry.

whatever. i is sleepy. i got a pretty pretty organizer to put all the boys' bookings and schedules in! the iCal is driving me nuts, keep dropping entries every now and then. previously it drops silly things that are alright, but this time i noticed that it dropped something really important which cost us an opportunity cost which is quite big. thank goodness my bosses are sons of God, if not i would be killed and trashed in the alley in one of those Alvatar bins. talking bout the bins, we pay but we don't have a bin in the alley! why ar. i must go find out soon. -_-"

oh. i noe i must really slp now, but who noes when i will get to post again. anyways, some other good news:

Congrats to:

Yi Ting: for getting a real marcom job instead of the last boogie job that brings you photo shopping the whole week. i saw your tag. tu perra. i have done it halfway, its in my drafts.. goodness how to think of 10 largely different wierd antics of myself man.

Mag: for getting another job soon. have fun. its okie, its only the first year after grad, my bro says i have 3 years to find what i want to do for the next 30 years.

Georgie Wong: Honourable Mention on UOB Photography awards sia! great job you gotten wor, brings you rice plus an award ^^ kambate neh! although you won't ever come this page haha!

Rueyloon + Kim: after witnessing so many weddings, finally your own le! enjoy your big party! it will definitely be a blessed marriage, seems your wedding date is a hot date for couples orh!

Cookie: ORD LOH! baobao jiayou, my baobao is the best! definitely will find a direction that you know you will want to have fun doing it for the years to come x)
even though you think my job sucks, but you also support me all the way, so i will also support you de! but make sure you earn moola. no money no honey HAHA!

Yan Deng: as murphy's law would have it, things always goes wrong somehow even if you do the best seamless prep works. but i believe in you, your skills and your better or ptm instructors previously, that you definitely have the quality to get into MDC and play under the baton of Major Tay. as i m a failure in being professional in what i was playing, i can't say much. but i can only say, be a musician, an artist; hold the artist's attitude, enjoy your song, love your song, feel your song. the judges hearing you will be able to feel you through your music. YOU WILL GET IN DE LA, STOP WORRYING. although at this point in time, i m not sure if you have gone for the trial, but either way, i still think you are good. so does my mum. you're her new idol ya.

Rix & WuiTing: though rix keeps saying machiam he has no business in getting married, be it the people who has contact with the two of you in real life or through the cable modems and land lines, we all know this man loves you =)

have a wonderful marriage, have more Rixies in the years to come!

but xiao rix'zi, please don't imitate your idol in wrestling.. i saw the news of the guy you mentioned liao. *sweats*

Jasmin: thanks for calling me earlier.. though i dunno why you called, but i noe you must be happy today, hearing from your voice, and your boy is accompanying you tonight =) what storm can be worse? with him by your side, raging storms are but romantic drizzles. btw, i saw connie mama last nite. she looks haggled.. though i m still confused by the words and acts of these adults years back, but it just hurts to see someone i once see so sorta glam, now so haggled..

Sam: work is never ending de la. He who brings you to it, will bring you through it. must have arrange you to go away at this time for a reason =)

ah. i guess i m just feeling emo and insecure bout life again, that's why i m evading sleep and talking so much not useful and uncalled for things here. but hey! i am counting my blessings! whatever, i guess, i should by right be feeling better after trying to struck a connection, somehow, with people that i m thankful to be blessed with.

As Arnon would say if we are drunk and by the riverside:
sista, life's good. don't emo. think positive think positive think positive. emo people pukes after drinking. have you ever seen me puke after drinking tons? no rite. i think positive thoughts. 8)

a'ite, good nite world. tomorrow's a great day, tons of things lay out to be done. next wk's a great week, more happy encounters coming up, meeting more couples, next weekend is fully packed with weddings!

its good to be busy and feel useful.

* i had wanted to post an emo post tonight, but i guess, its not suitable to do it here anymore. but i guess, sometimes the length of a speech would already have shown the emotions without the need to put in emo words. *

as lawrence's blog link to me describes my blog as:

Joyce and her contradictions.

yea, long time i haven used the My Contradiction Tag. here goes . . .
Labels: My Contradiction, My Random-ness

Kicking about @ 3:48 AM
| Post Url | |