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Friday, July 27, 2007

Thank God for the Wisdom . . .

. . . to stop myself from sending those smses to retaliate on impulse, though i was very hurt by those words at that time.

cos all i thought was i haven met her for a long time, and i have just gotten my pay, i really don't mind treating her supper cos she muz be financially tight since haven got a job.

when her reply sounds quite relax, i didn't thought much of it, but replied and ask so as to clarify what her last message was actually about.

sometimes when people live directly opposite a damn huge lake and grasslands nearby, and in Singapore, and when its the season for Dengue, you need not have fever to scare the shit outta yourself that you have dengue. a mosquito bite accompanied by red spots would be sufficient. and besides, the weather suddenly turn cool, so many people got flu. so it makes things more difficult to understand sometimes.

therefore when i got the reply that sounded relac, of cos i didnt thought much.

Me: where u? wan meet me a while?
Reply: i m home trying very hard to figure out if i am having dengue
Me: har? that means you are having fever now and cannot come out?

kcuf. i forgot to keypad lock my phone, the message got deleted.

anyway, the reply says something like:

wtf kinda question you asking. if you need someone at the moment sry i cant be there; in fact i think i would need someone more urgently if this kcuf-ing fever don't go down.

i was standing at bugis village bus stop, thinking how should be the fastest way to get down to meet her, how would be the best way to not spend too much moola for us both, if she haven have enough how much can i pay for her.

the first reaction i have when i got the message, i cry.

when i recover from the shock, i got angry.

the first reply that came to my mind was:

perra, htf do i noe wtf is exactly wrong when you sound like you are fine, i just want to clarify that i did not interpreted the sms wrongly. i don't kcufing need your sympathy for kcuf's sake, if you had been nice to me so far cos you are merciful and not cos you cherish me as a friend, i rather be alone. and btw, i am not a unwanted puppy at SPCA. kcuf.

i typed and deleted the message twice. cos now that i noe she's sick, i m in a dilemma as to be angry or wad. but i m very hurt, with my style i can never take this lying down.

and all these happen when i had a slight arguement with amos and problems at work.

i couldn't bear taking bus 12 for 1 hour plus to get home with all that grievance in me. wanted to get a cab but can't flag any. good that i called one and nearly immediately got one.

even better, my phone battery flat so i can't call her back and F her upside down, giving her a piece of my mind. oh btw, in the first place its cos my phone low batt hence the sms-convo hence the misunderstanding cos i can't hear how ~~sick~~ she sounded.

i got up the cab, thought for a while. the air con cooled me down. i snatched the phone from the cab driver and called her. k not exactly snatched. i is no robber.

i asked the uncle if he can lend me his phone to make a call cos mine is low batt. then he was pretty reluctant. but already taking out, just that still trying to make me understand that he has a earphone joint to the phone, so its very troublesome to lend me the phone.

kcuf, scrooge.

i say: sorry uncle, don't worry i will put back for you
while my hands already stretch over and pluck the phone out.

the uncle was quite grouchy for the rest of the journey though the phone call was only 2 minutes.

i called her and ask her whats up. she told me why she's so flared up cos everyone has been OVERLY CONCERNED and had been telling her:

are u dengue? i m worried. for goodness sake go do a blood test.

like as if she does not already register that statement in her mind. she just needs to know if she is with that scary epidemic. though these people are concerned no doubt, but their statements are totally inconstructive and retarded.

i told her i m on my way back to east side, i can bring her to the 24 hour ah neh clinic (btw, the doctor looks like Suren, he offers many days of MC the last time jacq went to him LOL)

i can hear how frighten she is then. literally shaky voice.

i just cant be angry anymore but get worried cos she's usually ultimate garang-ness.

if i was the one in the case of worrying and suspecting if i m having dengue, i would be pestering her and whining, then she'll be tempted to slap and she will say:

you think i look like doctor isit. you sit here and whine will get well isit. go see doctor la!

when she slightly calmed down later on, through her groggyness she still remember that she was nasty to me LOL.

she blogged:
OKAYS! after i typed so much.. joycie just told me halley kena twice [i thought i told you he got it thrice?] so i asked him abt it. now i'm feeling better! though i still dunno if it is dengue. roar!
i ask many qns n he tried to ans until he said.. "hard to say de leh " "dengue got 4 kinds lehz"

roar!

aiya. i should be ok la.. still can be high n crap around. mood still swing like fuck. just like the normal pms me ma.

sorry to those that i responsed quite harshly. =/

joyce, i really appreciate that u wanna accompany me to the clinic. u are the ONLY person who offer me that. LOL. but when u ask, i am already too paranoid n tired that i dun wanna care. and sorry cos i sounded quite bad.

thanks halley! for all ur information and wanting to try find the time if i need to see a chinese doc!

i'm off to rest now! x) going for blood test tml! i have no idea why am i so fucking excited! LOL.
once again, thanks joyce! thanks halley! thanks all for ur concern!

what i want to say is, thank god for blessing me with the wisdom to forgive and stop and think for others before my own ego.

if not i would have lost a friend that i love a lot a lot today.

seriously, a lot of times if she drives me nuts as much as my silly antics drive her nuts sometimes. with my usual temperament in life, i will never let anyone have a second try at me, i will definitely kcuf that person upside down and ignore for life.

but i really thank god to let me have the wisdom to love to cherish.

very blessed.

amos say i m a better person from 6 years ago, compared to the little girl who dunno how is busy protecting herself and hiding from people. i think my cookie really changed me a lot a lot, in terms of good and bad influences. ting and momo too..

now, i want to stretch my luck a bit. i hope i will be blessed with this wisdom to be a better person to love all the other very very important people in my life, as well as my work.
Labels: My Enlightenment, My Khaki

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