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Friday, June 23, 2006

Motivated

haa. this will be a more happy post ya? before rix complains =P

hmm.. today went to sch do proj actually quite not motivated day lor.. cos everything seems so stuck, then i still have to go work at nite, cannot stay in school longer n do more things. den i had been like so slack i was feeling guilty to my group mates that i feel so shy lor. then i slept so little yesterday n woke so early today.. really really very tired..

when i reached sch n met my grpmate, i apologized to him n told him that i'll either get 4 weeks break from work or quit my job and get things here done properly.. but he not angry at all leh.. den i say i so suker lor, that time when many people tell me those two are free riders, i m in no position to be judging them at all lor. see, they got do work now leh. somemore more on time than me.. den he very funny la..

he say: aiya juz copy notes wan la he..

hehe.. felt slightly motivated.. =)

den the project meeting today seems "moving" ~! ^-^

more motivated..

den i saw wad yi ting left me in the tag box:

yi ting: u see, the tighter u hold on to something, the more it escape. say if u hold on to a handful of sand, try to hold it tight, it falls. but if it was done e other way round, more stay in ur hands.

yi ting: frens are e same. u cant expect them to b there all e time for u.. they have their own commitments, etc. let loose, dun stick too much to them, everyone need personal space all that. i mean, not that u cant turn to them..

yi ting: but dun overdo it. sometimes when ppl breakdown, it is not all e time that u need someone to b there. sometimes, urself is ur own best fren. and e same, dun overdo it.. cos u will tend to isolate urself and lock ur frens out.

yi ting: pls rest more.. it affects not only ur body, but also ur mind.

yi ting: eh. instead of sticking to them, i actually mean depend. sry. fcuk. its getting confusing. lol. read my blog for it. sorry for flooding.

=') touched. i was actually very very tired and unmotivated today.. but this one totally brought me UP! i swear i didnt exaggerate.. it really did gave me the zest and energy to be able to work tonite =D

i had been quite solidary for many many yrs.. i don't really noe how to live in groups and be sensitive enough to other people.. even though i m most often sensitive to wad other people says and do and think of me.. thank u for caring and telling me these.. i really need to learn more from u all lorx..

after work today, i went to talk to my manager ashley.. i asked if i can take 4 weeks off work cos i really can't cope with my school work.. initially i didnt dare to go over and ask.. cos i was afraid that wad if i hem n haw too much n before i can say finish what i need to let him noe, he mite have been impatient n tell me no already.. n i was oso afraid that bernard would scold me on the spot or ask me to leave..

the first time i walk over to ashley, he asked me wad i wan..

erm.. wait ar..
den i walked back to the table where my bag was and asked serene's opinion.. after hearing how resolute she would be if she was in my dilemma, i looked at ashley across the tables..

wad u want~
lolx.. den i walk over and still thinking how i can say it in the most perfect manner..

wad u wan.. got request rite~

erm ya.. er i.. can't cope with my school work..
can i take 4 weeks off from work pls..?

wa one month ar?

er.. 4 weeks..
bernard look at the side oso buay tahan come laugh at me.. LOL.

1 month how many weeks? 4 weeks rite!

LOL! i kanchiong ma.. besides, 4 weeks sounds nicer than 1 month LOL.
i tot ashley is gonna tell me something serious when he asked me if i m sure i want to do that. den he say:
aiya.. den u will miss the staff party.

... bernard say ok lor go lor. den i ask if really can go, then after 4 weeks he will let me back onot.
bernard say if he got many staff at that time then he might have to consider.. i tink he is teasing me..? i hope he is =P

so when i was so kanchiong that bernard mite not let me back after the 4 weeks break n ashley brought up the staff party nex mth as bait -.- i was like got thousands of crows fly pass la... LOL!

then i was still very worried that bernard wun let me come back after the 4 weeks.. i was literally fighting with myself abt wad other ways can i get to work and get my school things unSCREWED.. in the background of this picture, ashley and bernard were chatting bout the staff party with meiting n jean

=.= .. . .. .. .. . .. .

then bernard say: aiya u just go do your school's things first la.

=D

thats wad i love about villa bali.. the design of the place so close to nature, the colleagues who even if not close cliques, will juz have that sync to work and get operations smooth, the superiors who often may sound weird, but end of the day, they are still nice people ^-^

few mths back, i wrote a table number wrongly and the person had left without paying for that bottle of wine.. then i didnt want to go get further scoldings from bernard, so i juz tell wah keong to let them know i'll pay for it. ashley came over to where i was doing some closing tasks, and didnt scold me.. only ask me what happen. after that wah keong went to ask bernard about it, bernard told him that he will try to cut the amount as much as possible from the tips that month. when he hand out tips, i tot i don't have le.. but he gave me mine, and i ask y.. den he say u juz take. deduct from pay.

den one day i wrote a table number wrongly n was correcting it on the spot, and bernard saw.. though he meant well, he juz sounds .. nasty LOL.

u better write wrong table number again, ur last bottle haven pay.

when pay day comes, i asked peter y no deduct, peter say i dont wan to hear about the matter again. so nice rite..

oh since i'm at this topic..

the other day, we were quite free after the function, which is an event hosted by a mobile communications company, which has big shots from big mobile phone manufacturers and mobile service providers, we were chatting and waiting for the caterers to come clear the buffet before we can reopen the area for other customers.

then we started chatting about 2 of our past managers.

to my surprise, i tot i was one of the few supporters of Keen HAHA. he's at Butter Factory now.. cos back then many people dislike him cos he always scold people and he was the one who brought about more and more duties added into our originally super slack job LOL.

but i guess his position is juz like Ms Abraham, my discipline mistress in secondary school. a love and hate affair by those under them LOL.

it seems actually many of those who used to work under him though often curse him back then, but they still enjoys working with him and anticipates starting work.

then we were talking about johnson who is at Q-Bar now.. it seems everyone loves him ^^ people says that he is very clever at handling human relations =) probly he really does =] but i tink partly oso bcos most of the time when he was here, it was Keen was still here, and doing all the Black-Face job, and so we felt that johnson is more like one of us ^^ bsides, he look so boyish LOL.

for me i would sometimes complain, and curse and upset, but at the end of the day, i noe one thing:

a senior barman used to remind us wad my boss said, Do Not Over-ride your superior~!

lolx. i dunno much bout that line, but i noe that i haven the choice to choose who my superiors will be, but i have the choice to trust them and try my best not to pass judgement at all, cos they definitely has more experience than me. if i do not trust them, how would i be confident enough to convince myself of the things i m doing, which is ordered by them, and if i m not confident, i would not be happy doing it with doubts in my mind ^-^

we haven a choice of the situation, but we have choice of handling it with a smile or with a tear.

at the end of this post, i decided to work really hard for school this final 4 weeks down to deadline, and work really hard appreciating my amos and making him happier, and spend more time home with my mum n less time out spending $.

in summary, spend this 4 weeks meaningfully. afterall , i didnt get it easy =D

thank u bernard & ashley for being such understanding superiors!

nah~ they won't ever read this line; no one at work reads my blog =)
but i m really grateful to them..

Kicking about @ 3:45 AM
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