No Name Applicable

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Lonely

the kinda loneliness when u did not have any frens to begin with, and the kinda loneliness when frens leaves u is different..

didnt ever have and lost wad u had is different.. lost is more pain..

though i had always been quite a loner, recently i had been really happy.. cos i had been close with some friends at work.. amos is happy seeing me mixing around =] but like the pic at the top of this blog, a beautiful sunset don't last, there's no feast that doesnt end..

lydia gotta leave cos she is not able to cope with her school work..

jingyang left already, and he is leaving for shanghai for 3 weeks on this coming wednesday, and he'll be away end of this yr doing another internship.

kevin is leaving too.. cos his parents wants him to focus on his uni studies when it starts in july.. cant blame parents who are more concern since he's an only child..

i dunno when marcus will leave too.. he started his new course le.. IT at mdis..

and even though elmo's not working with me, but i m so used to tagging him when i m not tagging amos.. i would cry calling him when i dun wan my amos to worry when he is doing something else.. cos i tink he would feel very helpless seeing his woman so upset and he cant do anything.. but momo different, as a good fren, his approach is juz to be there to provide companionship at least and cheer u up =]

but momo is leaving for hongkong internship this september till december..

he is rite. i would cry if he is to go on overseas internship. i m now.

and kenny is going to NS nex yr, and at the end of the 2 years, his papa will pack him off to shanghai to learn the ropes of business.. i wonder how he is gonna survive his first 3 months with hand signs.. he cant speak chinese..

juz now i was telling kevin off.. cos i didnt noe it was his parents who wans him to quit.. i tot its him being playful and lazy.. he told me to let him handle his life.. furthermore, its not his choice to leave.. but his parents.

i can only tell him i dont wan him to leave..

he was the one who always asks me why isit that i do not have much frens even though i worked there for about a year now..

he was the one who bought me and a few others bookmark, and a extra hairclip for me only, when he went on a holiday. and he watches out for me at work.

i told him that this is the first time i ever cry becos a fren is leaving a job. this is dumb. i dun wanna do this anymore.. i dun wanna have close frens at work anymore.

he says that its not like its the end of the world or i wun be able to see him again, silly ass. lol..

now i got the answer to his question..

cos i rather be selfishly locking my heart up, den to let my heart out to frens, and let my heart rip when frens leave me..

i wanna be good at work, i cannt let myself get affected by all these emotions.. i m not able to handle them..

i used to feel ridiculous when jaslyn and a guy left, den a few others quit altogether.. i tot it is so unprofessional, unethical.. after all this is work, how can lidat juz cos of frens quit?

now i noe how it feels.

amos is upset that i m intending to isolate myself once again.. he was so happy when he realise how happy i was recently at work, socialising with these good frens..

but baby, i m not as versatile as u.. can i really make frens as fast as u do?

didnt ever have and lost wad u had is different.. lost is more pain.. will i be able to handle it then? it shows now that i m not handling well..

Kicking about @ 4:36 AM
| Post Url | |

Comments: Post a Comment