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Thursday, June 29, 2006

I Really Needs To Rest More

maslow's hierachy of needs says:

the most basic level of need is physiological need, which includes rest,
food, water, air. if this basic level is not fulfilled, the following levels of
the hierachy will not be met.

ting is rite.
therefore, i m really messed up. nothing going right at school, work and play.

i've gone hysterical n cry and get all depressed, and magnify problems, and minimize solutions for several nites this past week. i is cannot make it liao.

plus that my boss don't understand that i really need more time to do my projects, and he is not supportive of me having 4 weeks off work until after the deadline & presentations week.. i understand where he's coming from.. i understand its for my good that he's thinking in this direction..

but i oso understand that.. i m a student. a weak student in fact. cos i've not been working hard enough the past two yrs, thus i m struggling more than other people.. n even people like elmo and yiting is octopusing [8 hands oso not enough] what more to say of me.. the slacker, who takes 4 hours when bird takes 1 hour to do what i do.. haix.

this weekend is really not enough to use leh.. i should have foreseen this point n put my schedule at 8pm on saturday and sunday lor.. haiz. i put 5pm. that means i gotta start preparing n travelling and all at 2pm on sat n sun. how the hell got time to do thing show dominic seah on monday...... besides, i heard its a great deal of stuffs..

we went to class today n shown him what we have.. he read oso dun read lor. he juz say cmi. which is true. all my fault.. if i had been a good leader from start, or insisted someone else to be the leader then things might turn out better. but somehow, me who dunno my work well enough is the leader is equivalent to the blind leading the blind on the edge of the cliff. HAIZ.

juz now waited for faith to send me the spss so that i can type in mine.. wait till bout 1am + ? den still got a little uncertain parts and some errors and some stuffs, so end up, only finish entering the data abt 5am + . then i called to wake my amos for work. i got all hysterical n crying again. i think i said:

baby, i really can't cope.. i really cannot work anymore.. really.. why
don't they believe me..

haiz then my amos was consoling me, n helping me think of solutions. i tink i m such an idiot lor. i freak so many people out that i freak myself out.

yesterday afternoon i was telling amos on the phone that my grpmates had been really nice yesterday.. they noe i got test, n told me its ok i can don't go down.. even though i got a major prob to solve which needs to hand in at 5pm. n knowing i got a deadline for CDS proj today, another grpmate offers to do my part, but i still do it myself. =)

then amos say, whoever u called last nite muz have gotten freaked out by u.. u were crying n like unstable lor..

erm, i don't think they are nice bcos of that? cos i don't think suren was in any mood to say such things to anyone yesterday.. cos i tink he did the proj till morning =]

oh wells.

the final solution i have now, i guess is only to rush home n bang the bed right afterwork. no on computer. absolutely no no. then wake up in the morning [note: i said morning. usually i wake at 2pm to leave home for work at 3pm when i work 5pm] n do as much as i can. n hope and pray that if they have to send someone back on saturday and sunday at 11pm, SEND ME~!

then nex wk, i'll put 8pm for fri sat n sun.. so tat i can have enough time to rest and do my work. hopefully i can cope, otherwise, last resort, i'll have to take that off no matter how already.. this semester's results comes priority..

thanks groupmates =)

thanks kenny for putting things aside to accompany me eat lunch n walk home..

thanks jasmine for showing concern.. =)

thanks alvin for consumer behavior notes =P

thanks amos for being there for me, please don't feel upset that u dunno wad to do to make me feel better.. cos ultimately, i'm the person who built this shit wad. =)

and thanks elmo for forgiving [after kicking me from head to toe not missing an inch, virtually xP]

i think ms lou would be happy today, that i m not late, n sad today that some of my grpmates are absent.. i wonder wad will her reaction be like if i tell her:

ms lou, i'm not late today! cos i never sleep,
so i never wake late! heehee~ x)

lesson at 9am, now is 8.18am. LaterZ.

Kicking about @ 7:44 AM
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