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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

x)

i got to really know this crazy kup po in march 06.

crazy nitelong mahjongs, r&b booming away along tampines avenue 10, suppers nearly every other nite, clubbing, studying for tests till morning at #81, #4831 machiam school bus in the dawn but sending kids home instead of to school.

whining about nearly everything to him and from him.

when i was broke, and he too, he stuffed half of what he has in his pocket to me.

"i is everybody's boyfren x) i feed my girlies"

haha sounds like a sugar daddy, superficially.

the first time i know that he is detaching himself from his very close friends, he was willing to open up his thoughts to me. but i made a very bad mistake of getting too close. cos the nex time, i'm shut out too. and it hurts, cos i really put he and her as friends very very close to my heart. if i never stand so close to them, i guess it wouldnt hurt that much even if they shut the whole world out. haiz.

i dunno why and cannot understand why. why would he be calling me from overseas a week ago, and a week later when he returns, he no longer answer any calls, return any calls, sms or msn message..

how can i say that he is such a close fren if i can't understand what is happening?
truth betold, i know. i choose not to believe only.

i cried to my boyfren when he closed me out with the others. i told my boyfren not to tell him i went clubbing cos exam was too near and he forbid me from going. i cried when he's overseas internship confirmed. i cried when he no longer answers my calls and smses. i cried today when he act blur and tried to cheer me up when i was trying to prompt him to tell me why had he been disappearing from us. i cried when he told me why.

i m crying now cos i know i won't get to see him till my wedding day or my funeral. unless ... .. ..... ... ='(

i will try not to cry again, cos i got the answer, i have to face the answer which i long had in my heart. all i can say again is

陈洁仪 ~ 天冷就回来

渐渐对着收音机
学唱新的歌
我问朋友为什么
做梦也快乐
朋友笑说
他从不相信梦
我想出去走一走
朋友点点头
天冷你就回来
别在风中徘徊
朋友的眼里有明白
还有一份期待
天冷我想回家
年少已经不再
今天的雨点洒下来
那滋味就是爱

to love is to let go.

my dearest friend, though the dilemma that i would not be able to hear those crazy laughters of yours, nor you sharing the joy looking at my mahjong tiles over my shoulder, running down the stairs when u heard i got 地胡, nor the times when u would say silly girl or gcb me when i do something dumb;

but on the contrary, if i do get the above back, it would mean u r shattered once again..

i rather u be away and be happy, then coming back to us and cheering everyone but yourself.

but please.. don't stay out when you are down, when u are down and out, we're all 24/7 a call away. especially your mistress, whom would be called adulteress if u still call her mistress now LOL. hor? mrs tan~ LOL.

i guess i won't cry le. even if i do is tears of joy as i reminise the short but good times.

please be happy sillymo.

as u have said, let fate drive us. but dude, u better remember your promise.. 10th August 2020, its a public holiday. i is waiting for your "objections" .

*i noe what chen tai tai will say: can slap her pls, machiam his gf.*
eh juz now he say u his mistress, worse la =P
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