No Name Applicable

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Selfless. Selfish.

i didnt tot of these for a long time.

had been thinking, that the Donkey was juz a selfish idiot who juz lie to me n walk away n don't even wanna be friends, after noeing that we can't be together..

he had fell for me first, but he didnt make any moves.. for years.

when i got together with my cookie, he felt unfair, cos he felt my cookie no way betta than him at all. aft 1 yr, he finally got convinced why i chose to be with my man, cos he noes how my man treats me - a treasure in his palms.

he told me he's gonna migrate n all, and pooF. gonE. all the time while i tot he was or probably he was gone, there was no contact. no reply of mail no nth. n eventually a year later, i realised tt he had been in SG at least for the past half yr through some testimonial in his friendster.

i was sad. cos i tot he is such a childish ass. cannot be together, cannot be friends meh? gotta avoid me lidat meh?

but now i have a new way of seeing this matter.

he noes i'm gonna feel bad for having him so sad, cos aft all i used to like him a lot, juz tt he didnt make any moves, i juz gotta give up.

he had told me before that he was mean to me sometimes when we go out, cos he was afraid that if he treats me too good, i mite return to his side. [oh pLSsss~ ego freak.]

i'm guessing now, when he decided to exit from my life with the image of being hated, he was trying to do me a favour. he don't wan me to feel bad. he don't wan me to be confused and hafta think so much. he rather i hate him then i mite be having a easier time getting the matter outta my head. afterall, i already have a man i love by my side to take care of me.

assuming my hypothesis is right, i thank him. and apologise for thinking he's an ass for so long ^^

assuming my hypothesis is right, haha there's 2 songs to commemorate his brave acts wor. LOL.

n part of the lyrics from 李圣杰 - 手放开

你要的爱我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏人怔怔看情感概
不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪流下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白

最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪

assuming my hypothesis is right, to him, the last and only thing he wants to give me:

最后的疼爱是手放开

my goodness. i is really a very lucky person ain't I? LOL.
men in my life are always thinking for me, cos i m always too dim and dense. LOL.
my cookie often says if ever i found a better man, he rather i go, if i will be happy.

i dun believe in this shit logic of his la. cos i always bear in mind the story of the silver bird -
cherish what u have, comparing and thinking the grass is greener on the other side is a never ending story lor.

its juz a sudden enlightenment, so i jot it down here. no meaning anything. no link to anything else either. dun ask me weird questions k~ ^^

Kicking about @ 3:03 PM
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Thursday, September 28, 2006

I'm like a Child in a Toy Shop...

... not mine, i noe.
but i juz can't bear to loosen my grip.
... can't own, i noe.
but i juz can't bear to part.
... should cherish what i already have, i noe, i am.
but i juz can't tear my eyes away.

i'm a walking contradiction. but i don't like being in this grey area.
why can't things always be either black or white? what's grey for?

3.02am sept 28 2006

grey is desire. the desire of human that can either brought forth fortune or calamity.
watched The Banquet yet? its the desire of owning that brought forth the losses.
1.45pm sept 28 2006
erms. unless u really noe wad its about in this post, if not pls dun comment.
think only ting & wolfie noes.
cos i noe there are bound to have ppl who interprete it another way,
n would ask me to think positively LOL.

Kicking about @ 3:02 AM
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A Friend said this and i broke out a Smile.

no one will die bcos this world is short of someone..
when u r at ur lowest, there is no more lower u can go..
u can onli go up..

a very special friend said this.

Friend
Me

there r 2 sides to eveyrthing..

but there are juz times when u are simply overwhelmed by the dark.

tt's when u have tt special someone to reach out a hand, a light in the darkness..

n ttz y i rely him too much. i'm not supposed to. one day he mite leave me.

n so the reply is the first paragraph.
its not a answer i anticipated. so it broke a smile on my face =]
my first heart-felt smile today, after feeling useless for 9 hours at work.
well not totally useless.. at least a regular who met me twice cos of this group of regulars who brought her here, asked me to go over to say hi when she came with her frens.
jeremy & friends, regular customers i noe, started coming to villa bali at the same time i started work at villa bali, smsed me that he would be coming to find me tomorrow.
one of the few things i would really anticipate in my long work day these days?
in fact these are the ppl who keep me sane at work, instead of drowning myself feeling lousy n useless. cos since they appreciate me, means i muz have done something right x)

p.s.
momo would so bash me up if he noe wad i did again lolx.

Kicking about @ 3:02 AM
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Monday, September 25, 2006

Hiatus

wahaha.. the longest by far that i'm on hiatus from nonameapplicable.blogspot.com eh?

yea. damn busy. lotsa things happened.

there was lotsa starts and a couple of ends. most are refreshing ones, except one.
a death.

nah dun wanna talk bout this now. anyways, juz wanna say:

ALOHA~! i is AlivE n kickinG~! no worries dudes & dudettes =P

wahaha..

internship start le.. everyday start work at 4pm.. or probably earlier if hafta go on field trips, client meeting, day events, or wad else i dunno haha. wad i can say is, though its tiring n some not so pleasant things, but i m enjoyin every bit every day of this internship =) don't worry yea? ^^

my comp had been giving me lotsa probs this few wks, n for the past 2 weeks, it totally ignore my commands -.-

so my bro got me a new cpu =D its supposedly to have a bigger memory n ram i tink. well. so long as it works ah Ha! btw did i mentioned that my last cpu cant read disk n can hear music? this one can read disk =P not sure bout music though~ dun hav a ear phone around to test haha.

peeps, visit me often yea? 9A Lock Road, Villa Bali the Chill Out Bar. ^^
for drinks, chill out, gathering, tapas, the physical environment, the nature garden n creatures, company functions, private events, weddings, photo shoots etc.

heres a couple of pics before i go on hiatus again. not for so long though this time ^^

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this little thing is so guai lan, not scared of human de.. u stare at him, he stare back at u on the same spot.
can u believe it.. it is bout 6inch tall, n its a type of eagle! ^^ my lecturer says its territorial type of bird, so like in one area (eg. macritchie reservoir, bedok reservoir) only got one pair. one guy one gal, n they are couple for life ^^ so cool hor? so lucky us to have this rare couple over often, in the afternoons =)

[click picture for bigger view]

one of the areas i like most in villa bali.. the Joglo Bar. we've got two bars, n this one is the new bar that is set outdoors, in the midst of the oasis, nex to the waterfall ^^ very beautiful!

[click picture for bigger view]
the only chill out bar in singapore with their very own waterfall ^^
[click picture for bigger view]
the bigger table at the Joglo Bar, nex to another pond with a mini-waterfall ^^
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my colleague AJ. she super de la! carry 3 chair at one go seh. oh ya. she wearing beanie cos she go cut botak, then the hairstyle is not accepted by the management..
okiex. ttz all for now ^^

Kicking about @ 4:02 AM
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