Saturday, September 30, 2006
Selfless. Selfish.
i didnt tot of these for a long time.
had been thinking, that the Donkey was juz a selfish idiot who juz lie to me n walk away n don't even wanna be friends, after noeing that we can't be together..
he had fell for me first, but he didnt make any moves.. for years.
when i got together with my cookie, he felt unfair, cos he felt my cookie no way betta than him at all. aft 1 yr, he finally got convinced why i chose to be with my man, cos he noes how my man treats me - a treasure in his palms.
he told me he's gonna migrate n all, and pooF. gonE. all the time while i tot he was or probably he was gone, there was no contact. no reply of mail no nth. n eventually a year later, i realised tt he had been in SG at least for the past half yr through some testimonial in his friendster.
i was sad. cos i tot he is such a childish ass. cannot be together, cannot be friends meh? gotta avoid me lidat meh?
but now i have a new way of seeing this matter.
he noes i'm gonna feel bad for having him so sad, cos aft all i used to like him a lot, juz tt he didnt make any moves, i juz gotta give up.
he had told me before that he was mean to me sometimes when we go out, cos he was afraid that if he treats me too good, i mite return to his side. [oh pLSsss~ ego freak.]
i'm guessing now, when he decided to exit from my life with the image of being hated, he was trying to do me a favour. he don't wan me to feel bad. he don't wan me to be confused and hafta think so much. he rather i hate him then i mite be having a easier time getting the matter outta my head. afterall, i already have a man i love by my side to take care of me.
assuming my hypothesis is right, i thank him. and apologise for thinking he's an ass for so long ^^
assuming my hypothesis is right, haha there's 2 songs to commemorate his brave acts wor. LOL.
n part of the lyrics from 李圣杰 - 手放开
你要的爱我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏人怔怔看情感概
不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪流下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白
最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
assuming my hypothesis is right, to him, the last and only thing he wants to give me:
最后的疼爱是手放开
my goodness. i is really a very lucky person ain't I? LOL.
men in my life are always thinking for me, cos i m always too dim and dense. LOL.
my cookie often says if ever i found a better man, he rather i go, if i will be happy.
i dun believe in this shit logic of his la. cos i always bear in mind the story of the silver bird -
cherish what u have, comparing and thinking the grass is greener on the other side is a never ending story lor.
its juz a sudden enlightenment, so i jot it down here. no meaning anything. no link to anything else either. dun ask me weird questions k~ ^^
Kicking about @ 3:03 PM
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Joyce Tan
13th April 1987
chocolat3_ch1p5@hotmail.com
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Attached since 10th Aug 2001 to a wonderful guy named Amos
The only constant on earth is change. since i will grow and my concepts will change, and i cant think of a contemporary blog name, thus i shall name it unnamed.
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