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Friday, March 10, 2006

4 years 7 months

today is 4years 7months since 10th Aug 2001 =D

me and amos has been together for 4years 7months since 10/08/01.

i don't think i explain the reason behind the design of this blogskin thus far right? okie, i did or did not, i shall do it now =P

this skin is dedicated to chocolat3_ch1p5 coOki3 aka MilkTea ^^ , thus the navigation is 100801 which is the anniversary date, which is oso the nickname of the Gunbound Acc we supposedly share, but i dominated it for years >=D nah.. he dont play Gunbound anymore lolx.. actually my first account is MilkLuvTea84, cos his is Tea84 =) he has been using Tea84 for many of his online accounts ever since secondary sch. lately he likes to use Ash too, either becos of his chinese name or his nutty habit =P

the lyrics running on the right side of this skin is one of our favourite song.. due to the lyrics.. =)

title of the blogskin is Love, Me which is the title of the song.

and the picture on the right top corner is our latest photo card which was taken on his 21st birthday on 29th november 2005 =)

so yup. ttz about all about the skin LoLx..

so being in a relationship for 4 years plus, nearly 5 years now, we are quite used to having people asking us:

ain't u bored in such a long relationship?!
lolx the first person who asked this is jianyi, my senior in chinese orchestra back then in secondary sch. he asked when we were together for a year or less LOL..

after that. evry once a while people would pop the same question. we acknowledge the compliment with a smile always lolx.. what to say right?

well, we ain't bored. when u really love someone, the mere companionship is enough..

when he really loves u,
proximity is more impt than activity.

quoted from David Smiedt,
Cleo

yea, so all these years, we watch movies, go stroll, go dinner ... all the dating stuffs.

but many times, we just hang around his house, me napping he gaming, or me gaming he reading comics =)

we are happy as long as we are able to meet..

of cos, whats the diff between a closer friend and your lover? the difference is he/she participates more pro-actively when u have problem.

we shared times when we have financial difficulties; times when our lives are not so smooth at work at school at play; times when we have problems communicating with family..

of cos, all these things that i have listed, definitely we have done with our good frens before.. the more distinct ones i really still have a long way more to learn from him and with him =)

to me, loving me means u dote on me like a precious treasure in your palms, and instalments of romantic acts and words of assurance =) this is very surface, i know.. but i m just a normal gal
=p of cos there are many other things which i deem impt, and recognizes his effort.

to him, loving me means doing things which no matter how laborious, as long as i'm happy at the end of the day, he is satisfied. he just wants me to have the best, no matters how much he have to sacrifice, scrimp & save or even get scolded..

he doesnt knows how to express his love very well.. he is a man of leadership, and words of wits.. but he just dunno how to TeLL me his love for me =) he is the only child in the family, well-loved by evryone.. cos his mama has been really bz at work since he was a child, but she always tries her best to participates in most of his MiLeStones.. but i heard from her fren that she had often still felt guilty towards her son that she couldnt accompany him that much when he was a child.. she express her love for him by giving him the best =) dont worry, she dont spoils him.. she teached him good values.. i thank her for this responsible MAN she has educated and bestowed to me =D

as such, since young he is given the best as possible so as to show their love for him, thus to him, he wants to give me the best to show how much he loves me =) as he is the only child without siblings, he had always wanted to be able to take care of people =) he wants to take good care of me.. he is sad when he noes i cant take care of myself; slping only in wee hours of the morning or even when the sun is bright.. he wants me to be happy.. he is sad when he noes that i m upset bcos i could not communicate well with frenz.. he heart aches at my evry bit of lost weight and my evry tear..

to him, he dont mind taking laborious efforts just to make me happy.. just bcos my television spoilt, and i whine that i wan to watch Holland V the drama, he dont mind carryin the spare television he had in his room to my house..

just to brighten up my day n lessen my disappointment due to a last minute change in plans, he dont mind quietly doing some arrangements even though i might not realise and acknowledge his effort.. he didnt mind queueing alone for over an hour for a restaurant during valentines' day this year just to make up for my disappointment in being nearly unable to go to our favourite restaurant..

now that i've shifted house, to a more somewhat remote pasir ris, he dont mind waking earlier to go to KFC to buy 2 piece chicken meals to my house, just to let me wake up to my favourite food.. just to see me eating it happily..

he didnt mind spending over $200 to buy a pair of skates for me so that we can have some quality time together, and a same activity which could allow us to communicate more deeper.. as we have been really so bz that we rarely settles down for a chat, concentrating, for more than 1/2 hour. he tot of this all by himself.. i didnt complain abt anything this time ok? =P

this is how he loves me.. his method of being romantic =)

in return, he doesnt ask much.. he only ask of me to improve my attitude towards things =P

and to take better care of myself..

that's all.

on tuesday when we went to eat dinner at simpang bedok's prata shop: Syed, he suddenly said:

dear i m worried abt our relationship.
i m worried that u dont take good care of yourself. i m worried that if u carry on being so stubborn, u r not the woman i wanna settle down for..

u knew i m a person difficult to settle down.. but i m willing for u.. but at least make it fair for me, make it more worthy can? i noe asking u to change is a bit much.. but if its something u really dont like n find it unacceptable, do u tink u wanna live with it for life? for 20, 30 years down the road?

he only hopes that i can change my attitude and learn to accept other methods of doing things other than my own method. he hopes to have a woman who not in the way of obeying him, but at least trust him when he says "this is possible, we do it this way ok?"

but my insecurity and ego more often than not hinders me from being such a woman..
yet back then, we started our relationship on his simple statement:

Amos: Shall we be together?
Me: I dunno, I dont trust myself to be capable of building a good relationship now..
Amos: Alright, just trust me will do.

one thing he likes about me then was that he is comfortable communicating with me cos he noes i would speak up my feelings.. if i dont like a certain arrangement i will definitely let him noe.. so that he dont have to be worried and guessing my feelings..

well i guess now he mite wanna eat his words, if he remembered wad he said back then, that is. lolx.. his memory sux hahaha..

i love this man. i want him through my entire life.

i wanna do my part to contribute to our relationship now =) give me some time baby..

[[i noe tt kuku kia wun noe this, cos he aint gonna read my blog. i noe. lolx he is my man for so many yrs.. lolx]]

i just hope i m able to show him some results fast enough =)

there are many stories and frens of mine who actually give up on a good partner or relationship as they do not believe that things can be like so "happily ever after", that is why when the relationship seems too good to be true, they selfishly withdrew themself, so as to prevent themself from getting hurt.

i tink this little devil of doubt is able to penetrate their relationship bcos they did not communicate with their partner frank enough and frequent enough, ttz y their trust in each other and the relationship they built are frail enough for doubt to penetrate.

there are oso stories and frens who gives up on a good partner or relationship as they are not certain about what they want.. they noe the partner will be a good partner.. but they do not wan to be restricted to one so soon.. they feel insecure.. and wants to explore more options.. and most impt of all, they felt that to be able to explore more option, they definitely cannt hang onto the current relationship. they still wans to club, to play to noe more guys and gals..

yes correct that u shldnt hang onto one guy and explore further options with the other hand.. that is very bastard act.

but hey, it is a big risk, a big gamble if u put evryting onto a relationship. but it is also when u concentrate on a relationship that u will really learn and grow from it. and evryting in life is a risk; matter of significance only. u can never have evryting in life.. u just need to do some econs..

wad u have to trade off in order to get wad u want?
is the trade off worth it?
in my opinion, the trade off of a little bit of friends' time and lone leisure time, and bit bit lesser dating experience is definitely worth it. hey he aint my first alright. [part of my dating history] so i m not encouraging a first and last theory alright lolx.. actually, dating aint abt quantity, its abt quality.. wad u learnt from each partner =)

of cos, it takes two to clap. if today, i'm not given this wonderful man, i wun be able to bullshit here. =) well~ since i took the time to type this uber long post, i muz have really strong belief in it that i can type so much rite?

so.. its really up to u, if its cock & bull or sensible ranting. evrybody does it differently. i m still early in this relationship.. i dunno wad will happen still, i dunno if we would blossom. so, i might not be right after all? =P

zillions of people under the sun. this has gotta hav at least millions of solutions to a problem rite? after all we humans are scattered over erm isit 7 oceans 8 continents or the other way round?

but anyway, we are raised in different family, society, cultural and tribal values; so definitely our decisions and solutions would be affected by these values we are brought up with. =)

there's no constant to follow ya? still the same old motto to carry by this blog:

the only constant on earth is changes.

one last cliche before i end this post:

since the only constant on earth is changes, cherish your loved ones before changes dawn on u. u wont know when. do it.

Kicking about @ 3:16 AM
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