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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Relationship Standard Operation Procedures (RSOP).

when handling relationships, i m usually more straight forward. i prefer to juz "chop" and letz not waste more time there pacing back and forth. juz conclude, get it done and over with, get on with life, dun let this drag down the rest of ur daily routines..

so when i noe i m not suitable with him, 7 days tgther, i broke up imediately.
when he gave me the love letter, i imediately tell him there's no chance of development.
when i noe he already declare his interest in me, i imediately ask weixiang to help me convey the msg tt there's no chance of development.
when i noe he doesnt noe how to reject gals n there is a gal who had been waiting for him for 2 yrs, i called him n asked upfront: got chance onot? if not i'll giv up.
(note: different color he or him denotes diff guy. dun wanna mention name.)
but for him i juz dunno how to cut things at the approriate eye of the stem. (direct translation to chinese = jie ku yan)
i tot the date b4 he leavs for stockholm would juz ends our undeveloped but already died relationship, and after tt we can still be frens.
i dunno wad he tinks, but it seems to me, he got thoughts to juz leav me alone n forget abt these yrs he noes me.
while on my end, i find it difficult to accept that he seems to not wan to keep in contact as he does not reply email or msgs in friendster.. the only time he replied is cos he didnt noe tt address is mine. i asked him if that's the case, he denied.. he say he's damn bz..
am i being cruel? aint i suppose to juz let him go.. n juz let him find a new life n ttz it? isnt leaving him alone the most right thingy to do for him?
but i juz cant.. this is the only person, i so tuo ni dai shui. i dunno y. but wad i m definite is.. even if today its not amos by my side, or even if i m alone, we mite not get back to where we had paused and continue. cos we've grown up. all these yrs he haven been by my side, how much of the now me can he accept? and bsides, the feeling is different now..
i was juz tinking abt writing him an email ytd morning.. to ask how he had been.. i was taken by surprise when i log into friendster and saw his updated profile that he is currently in singapore.. i tried dialing his hp.. its on.
u can call me silly. ppl already migrated, if juz came back on a holiday couldnt hav juz reconnected the phone line for tt short period rite? well i dunno.. i juz got a feeling.. he didnt really end all his things here..
i will put this as a post-dated entry, so that it will
always appear on the top of this page, until the end of this month. cos i believe the link i left in my friendster profile will bring u here.
today is 9th Feb 2006, 5.38am.
why.. if cannt be lover then cannt be frens even? this other guy who was after me b4, juz admitted into my school.. we rubbed shoulders in the campus a couple of times now, but none of the times we greeted each other, nor is there any acknowledgement of familiarity with a stare or wad.
initially i wasnt sure if its him, den recently when i met him in the computer lab, i overheard his voice and confirmed its him.
damn i m sinful. i muz had been real bad to them.. hurt them damn badly, that the blue guy, this guy n the migrated guy decides to ignore, dunno and forget me altogether.
Amos Zhou Xu Hui, if ever u ditch me or i ditch u (touch wood), u bloody hell betta greet me when u see me on the street. -.-"

****i've decided to put this post away to the day which it was created, since i've already kan kai le. my baobao is enuf, i dont need to care about other shitty nonsense. juz making myself more fan, n wasting my readers' time nia.****

Kicking about @ 5:12 AM
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