No Name Applicable

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Priority in a Relationship

recently, went through a little bit of things myself, and witnessed some things happening around my friends, then i learnt this:

wad matters can be greater when compared to losing this person u love so much?

nitty gritty things that we find all so important at that moment in time, and took the time to argue and quarrel and fight about, at the end of the day when u finally lose the person, it all comes clear to u tat it doesnt matters at all.

we used to argue about what kinda things.. hmm.. certain way he speaks, express himself, certain habits.. we argue bout these things every so often, as frequent as the number of meals u take a day. but whats the objective of these fights at all, when we both noes how much we loves each other and comparing to not having each other by us anymore, how insignificant this matter is?

i used to think a lot, way too much too much, about nitty gritty things, and directions and future in our relationship. if u think i think a tad too much now, u can imagine how bad those days were, for amos lolx.

but hey. over the years we are together, i've come to realise that i care so much bout such nitty gritty things, and wans to perfect the relationship so much, is because i m afraid to lose him.

yi ting taught me this recently, and i posted bout it if u can remember lolx.

the more u want to hold on to this handful of sand, the tighter u grasp, the more u lose.

very true isnt it? in a more related context, the more u are afraid to lose the one u love, the more possessive and demanding-perfectionist u get, they more u hurt them, the more they would leave.

people often lose sight of their objective as they run towards their goals..

the more u desire for it, the more hunger for it, the more impatient u get, the more u jump steps to get there, the more u get closer, the more u lose sight of it.

in a more related context, well.. not really very very related.. u noe bull frogs rite.. they gotta croak and sing loudly to attract females for mating.. but often they were so engrossed in singing their best to attract the females, that they got so enjoyed in their songs, they ignore the females when they got attracted over. lolx.

well okie. look, often ppl wans to work hard to provide for the ppl they love so much at home. but often, ppl oso due to that, they become too engross in working hard, that they lose sight of their initial objective, that is to love and to make the ppl they love happy. by being over engross in work, they neglected the needs of the loved ones.

so what i want to say is that.. i used to be very obstinate in making everything in our relationship perfect, especially communication wise, because i am so afraid that should anything goes haywire, i will lose this man. so my initial objective being my love for him, which evolved into hurting ourselves along the way when i get too demanding.

i learnt this from a 17 year old gal, who lost a man she loves so much so much so much, but luckily they got the chance to be back together! =D she said:

not being loved the way u wanted does not mean that the person did not love u with all he has.

i agree with this line totally.. amos once said it too.. but i was too obstinate to understand it then. if i had understood it much much earlier, i would not hurt him so much so often..

i always wonder, why muz people have relationships.. wad is suppose to result from relationship? companionship? we can have that in friendship wad. see kenny. =D anytime i m in trouble, in need of companionship, as long as he got the time, and the minimum amount of money to get outta house, and he is not grounded by his parents and nanny =x, he would be with me in 45 minutes time x)

now i noe. u get into a relationship to learn. to learn how to manage your desires x) [whichever way u think alrite yellowbirds lol.] to learn how to communicate better. to learn how to become a better person.

there are as many reasons as the number of stars in the universe, for a breakup.
there is only one reason for you to stay together.
but if u believe in it, that one reason would be the universe.

i guess i found it x) and this one reason can keep me in this relationship until before its time for marriage. when it comes time to transit into the married status, the married responsibilities, i would probably need a couple more of reasons to keep me in x)

but its pretty sufficient for now xD

examples of the many reasons for breakup:

our being together is but a habitual reaction.
the grass is always greener on the other side. also known as: zao sai aka switch lover.
too busy with work.
the one reason to be together;
we love each other, and we want to cooperate to build and maintain our love for each other, holding each other through the perils of growing up, learning from each other and together.
love is not juz say say or heartbeat like mouse, or juz a letter as what jacky cheung has sung. it may probably just occured due to fate or hormonal reactions, but it definitely requires effort to build and to maintain.
btw, things i say are only applicable to cases whereby both party definitely loves each other exclusively. please dun come hiong me bout examples whereby its one sided efforts k.
i know this kinda thing, u muz experience it to relate to it, or to be convinced by it. cannot juz some tom dick harry say and u read n u get convinced and understand.
even so, i pains me to see two friends who just started out, and definitely loves each other exclusively, and willing to go the miles for each other, to be on the verge every now and then.
i oso know it is too proud and boastful of me to ask them to be convince of my experience..
my objective is only to share, and hope it can be of help.
cos u never try, u never noe..
sometimes somethings u said, u never noe how much an impact, or how useful it would be for another person..
i only hope this couple would get to read through this with a neutral mind, and hopefully be of any help to them x)

Kicking about @ 3:53 AM
| Post Url | |

Comments: Post a Comment