Monday, April 03, 2006
Making Friends
i juz read this entry from blinkymummy's blog.
haha she was exclamating abt how come singaporean are actually paying agencies to get to know frens; while she find it so easy to know ppl..
lolx.. the way she say it a bit extreme ba..
her last note to the shy singaporeans out there before she ended the post:To: The SHY YOU
STOP ALLOWING MERCENARIES TO RIP YOU OFF!!
YOU WANT A FRIEND?!
JUST START TALKING TO THE STRANGER NEXT TO YOU.
You think that's gonna be weird?!
I tell you what's weirder.
That a bunch of human beings getting to know each other only because they are put in a situation, e.g. at an orientation camp/paid date etc, where it is engineered for people to talk to one other and say hello.
SHY KEE LAN!!
lolx.. in my point of view.. i tink this is juz another result of our singaporean styled upbringing. its in our culture to act with propriety [is my grammar correct?] ..
its is juz not in our culture and bringing-up to be so open to strangers. we are already considered quite open le.. cultures in some societies even forbids ladies to initiate interaction or shake-hand to the guys; n guys should not look eye-to-eye with the lady when interacting for long O.o..
it is oso a singaporean culture to do things in a "safe" manner. at least at certain set of situations, like orientation camps or schools, there is juz a certain level of "control", and at least we have a little information about this stranger and not totally clueless of who this person is and what's his purpose of interacting with us.
i remember studying in a subject which talked about 4 levels of risk [can't recall what subj is tt.. can liz or elmo enlighten me pls lolx]. the most risky level being that there is no information abt the event/item at all. thus when we meet strangers in the public transports or even closest to home - lift, we do not usually open up with them, unless we can get some clue of them from their appearance, dressing and perhaps some hand carried items.
today amos asked me:u really like such working at nightlife jobs & being involve in nightlife activities?
i replied:ppl at such places like bars, pubs & clubs are there to prepared to bullshit & have fun.. thus more spontaneous and not so stern..
however i would prefer to work at villa bali and not a club cos there is this balance point here, whereby people are usually slightly more spontaneous than at a restaurant; however at the same time not too over-passionate like in club. thus i feel really comfortable here =)
like what Jeremy had said in the comment for this blinkymummy's entry, people at clubs and such places are easily opened up to strangers cos "liquid courage are sold" there.. lolx..
i quite agree with him.. furthermore, previously in one episode of the dating shows hosted by taiwanese hosts Hu Gua & Gao Yi Ping, the psychologist said:decisions on such relationship matters could be affected due to a varietion in the setting.
for example, if this person is on vacation and got to know this other party, this person might be more likely to get into an intimate relationship as the person is in a relax, holiday mood, away fromharshreality [punS not intended.] however, when this person's vacation is over, and returns to the daily life, this person might not find this relationship as desirable; as being back to daily life, would mean that this person has to face things that are more of reality and of greater and longer impact, thus, decision would again be wavered.
in the same context, when a person is at the club, it is indeed easier to make frens =)
as for if they can progress any further, that would have to depend if there are any further interactions to know each other better.. LoLx..
hahahahaha.. ttz y i always tell my amos:u can have fun and talk cok with anyone at the club.. u can flirt verbally or dance with any gal as long as u dont get too overboard.. LoLx.. what's important is that u muz not carry on any more OUTSIDE the club's door, and at least have the respect and decency to NOT let me know of it =D
jieying said that this theory of mine is nuts.. haha where got ppl ask own boyfren go out flirt. aiya.. what he do outside is nvm de.. as long as he noes that it's bout a "vacation" and where his "home" is and noes how to come back~ n oso, if he loves me enuf, aft having that taste of "stolen fun" , he would noe better to clean up his track so as not to let me noe n feel hurt. ^^
haha i trust that he would not do such stuff.
i noe~ u r saying i m dumb now LOL.. but hey read again..
ask me if u dont understand LOL~!
yea.. so anyways, back to the topic of singaporeans paying agencies to make frens.. well sometimes this is inevitable.. cos like wad blinkymummy oso said in this entry, the circle of frens are somewhat recycled.. so its difficult for people of certain occupations to know new frens..
hmmm, *think* a carpenter, a car mechanic, a food development scientist.
how much time they have that is they are not working or sleeping in a day? how much time left to actually go out and socialize..
bsides, for a carpenter and car mechanic.. their education level n salary. HeLLo~~~ i m not saying that singaporean gals are mercenary.. but think this way:
the people of similar education level goes on to jobs of somewhat similar nature; or even if not so, they earn somewhat similar level of income, thus goes to somewhat similar level of recreations. and by sharing similar education level and standard of living, this people goes on to having frens of similar education level, standard of living and somewhat similar occupations. and the circle goes round n round n round, somewhat in a recycling manner like she said..
haix.. where else can they seek friends and partners but such agencies? i believe these ppl definitely dun wan it this way too.. aft all its quite embarassing, being the perception of people as: the people who goes to such frenship & marriage agency are undesirable either cos of look, charactor or status..
DISCLAIMER:
by writing this post, is only because i had been having this thought for a long time too, juz that i do not have enough FeELinG to put into the entry to discuss this matter. so it so happen that i read this entry from blinkymummy's blog, so i used it as a backbone structure to build on my entry on this topic. I M NOT FLAMING HER OR WAD K.. it is but her thoughts her opinion n my thoughts my opinion.. no link no link.. juz Ying Xiong Suo Jian Lue Tong.. happen to same topic only..
haix.. recently too many blogosphere flaming war shit liao.. muz faster disclaim if not get misunderstand n tio shoot sibei suay..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oooooooooH yA~!
recently i got a somewhat *rich n famous fren, who got this problem..
[*rich as in he is quite well off at home, famous as in he is very involve in many activities in sch n very frenly thus many frens LOL]
ever since he got his driving license, somehow got many unGenuine people come n show interest and concern to him, and there even was a gal who left a love letter - annonymous - on the screen sweeper of his car O.o
haha my advice to him is:act poor, look poor. until u find a gal who loves u genuinely, dont blow ur cover.
hahaha so drama.. kk, i noe i did not do a gd fren task giving gd advice =P
haix... when i got together with amos, i didnt noe that he is quite ok at home de.. so when i noe already i got so stress.. cos he being famous Amos [somehow probably cos he is active in NPCC & peer leader activities], is known by many BDSians.. be it teacher or students.. so like even students a batch or two aft me oso noes him O.o i myself is already 3 batch aft him LOL..
so i was afraid that ppl say i fawn on the Rich n Famous hahaha.. but no la, dont tink so, so many yrs together i never heard anything lidat hahaha..
[click picture to view source]
haix.. the lifestyle of the rich and famous is indeed enviable by many, and has the *look-up effect [*from Retail Management Lectures..] however, how many read pass these glam covers that they have difficulties finding sincere soulmates?
i m glad that i m Normal: not pretty but look-able; not rich but not hungry [actually i m a bit hungry now.. its 7.12am LOL] ; not famous ^^
a studies in america few yrs back shows that beautiful people are 40% more likely to have not so happy marriage or have difficulties finding a partner =/
probably cos ppl thought that:aiya~ pretty gal.. sure got boyfren wan la~ otherwise, muz b quite snobbish & sky-high, un-reach-able de la~ dont bother tryin to court
ouch. sad.
damn this post is long... did i digress too much?
Kicking about @ 5:43 AM
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Joyce Tan
13th April 1987
chocolat3_ch1p5@hotmail.com
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Attached since 10th Aug 2001 to a wonderful guy named Amos
The only constant on earth is change. since i will grow and my concepts will change, and i cant think of a contemporary blog name, thus i shall name it unnamed.
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